BLAG!

It's been a long while since I last wrote in my blog.. haha.. so, here i am again, about to type away with my nonsensical ideas, as I always do.. DEAL WITH IT, people.. Ü

Well, a lot has been happening over the past few, what, months? Finals week na, so basically, I'm all heads up with my friggin' books.. another week of sleepless nights, and it's freaking me out.. hay, got to deal with it, unfortunately.. this comes with my course, so.. yeah.. i practically don't have the right to complain..

It amazes me how i manage to get my ass off to bed each and every morning just to get to school. I move slow then I curse the traffic when I'm late. haha, the irony of things. It's like I just do things out on a daily routine and I'm not exactly happy with it. Sure, new things do happen every day, small miracles are always there, but still.. i feel empty.. i still feel as if these daily miracles have become a routine, as well...

I'm not really complaining that much, i mean, i'm blessed. i truly am, and i've never been more thankful.. i just wouldn't mind doing something i want for a change.

Lately, I've been feeling locked up. I'm not exactly sure from what but i'm certainly not free. and it sucks, it sucks BIG time. I want to do things but I feel limited, something's holding me back. I want to say a lot of things, express a lot of emotions. But somehow, this strong, invisible force is keeping a steady hold of me. And the worse part of it is, I'm letting it control me. Is it fear? i'm not sure. Maybe. Is it love? Could be. God? I just don't have a clue. I'm just clueless, hopeless.. and it still sucks.
I have always pitied those people living their lives for somebody else. But lately, i feel as if i'm doing the exact same thing. HELP.